Life as it come~

NJ

Life as it come~

I feel like writing. I feel like talking to someone. But unfortunately didnt really have that person I can talk about what's on my mind right now :)

At the point of my life, being 23 years old already, finishing my degree and you are in that point of life where you are asking yourself. Where's next? Yeah, before I was so excited to be all that working independent women out there just try to absorbs all the experience that the world have to offer. But He knows better. Unexpectedly here I am, going to further my study. Really? Do I really want this? To further my study means so much going on. Family,friends, and most important, ME. Aish. But yeah. I really want this. Just need to endure about 2 years of being a student. Maybe the turning point where the day I have decided this was the last day at UTM. I know I am not ready and I need more. Maybe part of it because of what happened that day. I will not denied that. But still I want this for me. Not for anyone else.

The last day in UTM last day of August was probably one of the curse day of my life. Maybe not cursed, but I feel like it. It affects so much things in my life. Like big fat black clouds that hover around you ~.~" It make me confuse, crazy, and judgement are all blurry. I wish it never happen and I wish I never met that person....Maybe this is a lesson for me. Although so short, but this is lesson for lifetime. Major lesson is that always life will not give you what you want..life will give you what you need. Well, unexpected things like this brings to unexpected event..like me deciding to take master ^.^..Our path crosses..but thats all. We need to move on. Just hope the people involve see this thing as I am :)

2012. The year where everywhere seems to be full of engagement and wedding invitations. Friends and family all around me are either getting engaged or marry. Most of them are in my age. Haha. Well I am really2 happy for them. At some point of wedding and engagement invitations you are wondering when is your time? I am all for the romantic type. Of course you want to get married with the person you love and the one you can see you can spend your life with. To be honest, I have been thinking about that with several guys at different point of time ^.^ But, I dont think I am ready for this. Maybe because I havent find someone that I will be ready to be with for the rest of my life. To go ups and down together. To love. But if that person walk to my life then I will be more than ready to get married.  ;) But right now, I am quite happy being alone independent me. They say if you cannot be happy with being alone with yourself, how can you be content to be with someone else? Hihi. I want all those other girl want, get married,pregnant and have all cute children and have a happy family. But the time hasnt come yet. Just have to wait then ^.^

Not that I dont feel the emptiness and the wanting to have someone to lean on,someone to talk and argue with. But like the saying goes, belum ada jodoh. Haha. I never feel the need to rush getting someone to fill the void. I know what I want. I want something real, long lasting and committed. Not flings, not serious,scandals. They say easy come, easy go. Instant satisfaction can only lead to addiction and sickness. Like drugs. Drugs makes you live in unreal world. Float in the air. So, yeah. I will not going to let myself settle with drugs ^.^V

I have so much things going on before September ends. I hope October will not going to be nightmare that is going to haunt me. I know I promises things. I will keep my words. That the last thing I can do. I will not continue to let myself to drown. We want totally different things. We have totally different life. Crossing path. That is what we are doing. Both need to move on.

This is how I learn. By mistakes and experience. Writing what I feel also one way to learn ^.^

I am going to miss all the feelings that I have for that person. But I need to let go. Letting go is one of the things I need to learn also. I wish I forget. I wish you do too.

Things are not always according to what we want. He knows the best. Not us.

If it were meant to be we will cross path again. But right now is not the time..

Wish me all the luck in the world!